


Death of the Past

by fangirlingtodeath513



Series: Season 15 Codas [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Episode: s15e07 Coda, Episode: s15e07 Last Call, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e07 Last Call, Post-episode: s15e07 Coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-17
Updated: 2020-01-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:15:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22286218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingtodeath513/pseuds/fangirlingtodeath513
Summary: Dean ruminates on everything that's happened.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Lee Webb/Dean Winchester
Series: Season 15 Codas [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1513793
Kudos: 24





	Death of the Past

The drive back to Lebanon is the longest drive of Dean’s life, even though it isn’t a very long drive. It’s pitch-black by the time he leaves, so he’s left with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company as he drives, which already wouldn’t have been great but everything with Lee just makes it worse.

Lee was his first foray into bisexuality. They’d hid it from Dean’s father, of course, but they’d managed to sneak around far more often than either of them had thought they’d be able to manage. John had almost caught them that night on the beach, but thank god they’d gotten too drunk to fool around. Still, he’d held a special place in Dean’s heart and imagining him dead was better than all the shit he’d just found out. He honestly wishes he’d never stumbled upon that article. 

He doesn’t really want to reminisce, but in his current situation, he can’t really help it. He’d burned the whole place down, made it look like an accidental fire started by a slightly-too-drunk Lee who ultimately got himself killed. They marid’s body should burn up enough that the firemen won’t even recognize that it’s a body and he should be in the clear.

They’d never actually dated. It was more of a convenience thing. Dean wanted to explore sleeping with dudes and Lee just happened to be there and very into the idea of teaching Dean the ropes. Sam was freshly gone and it had left this huge crater between Dean and his father. Lee had been there for him as a fuck buddy, sure, but as a friend as well. He can’t even count the number of times he bitched to Lee about Sam leaving them behind for some apple pie life. 

He tightens his hands on the wheel and tries Cas’s cell again. He’s called sixteen times so far and he has yet to hear from Sam or Cas. He’s only an hour from the bunker now and the second Cas’s cell reaches voicemail, he steps on the gas a little harder.

X

He’s tired. He’s  _ so _ tired of this. Dean’s being ridiculous but he’s so tired of fighting him on this. He doesn’t have the energy anymore, especially after the day he’s had. The world’s ending and Dean’s pissed at him over some stupid slight he thinks Cas made. 

Of course, he knows that’s not the underlying problem. Dean’s always had a problem with faith, both the religious and non-religious kind. Of course he’s having a particular problem with it now, after learning that his life is basically a scripted television show that God watches for his own amusement. It’s annoying that he’s taking it out on Cas, but he can’t say he didn’t expect that. Dean’s always been one to lash out when he’s angry or upset, usually at Castiel. Normally Cas can take it but something had snapped this time. He couldn’t let Dean berate him for something that wasn’t even his fault.

Seeing Dean in person is a whole different story, though. He looks incredibly sad, more sad than Cas has seen him in a long time. Not the distraught kind of sad he’d been about Mary and Jack and Chuck, but just… profoundly sad.

He wants to ask, he wants to be the person that Dean goes to when he’s upset, but he can’t be. Not today, not right now. Right now, they need to worry about finding Chuck. He can’t waste time trying to repair his relationship with Dean. If they all survive this, they can worry about it after. 

Dean asks how Sam is, of course. Doesn’t ask anything about Cas, just heads right to Sam. Another thing he shouldn’t really be surprised about, especially given the current state of their relationship. He’ll always put Sam first, whether the world’s ending or not. Why should he even bother? Jaw clenched, he heads straight for the library to start looking for a way to defeat Chuck, once and for all. 

**Author's Note:**

> Find **this fic** on [Tumblr]() and [Pillowfort]()  
>   
> Find **me** on [Tumblr](https://fangirlingtodeath513.tumblr.com/) and [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/fangirlingtodeath513)  
>   
>  **Please don’t post my works anywhere without my permission.**


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